As a human, we tend to make choices and decisions based on previous experiences, known knowledge, and our expectations. However, when it comes to special needs children, it is essential to ensure that they are given choices in their everyday life.
We often make decisions in everything we do, including the way we dress, the food we eat, the places we go, the things we do, the way we spend our leisure time, and the way we pursue our hobbies. These decisions are typically based on our priorities and expectations. However, there are moments when we must make decisions that are out of our control, and we may feel uncomfortable, leading us to want to escape the situation or rush to complete it to obtain relief.
Now, let's consider the level of choices we give to a special needs child. When parents learn that their child has special needs, they often take on the responsibility of making decisions on their behalf. Parents may feel that their child does not have the right to make choices based on their preferences because they do not know much about the world. However, in the long run, the responsibility of making all the decisions for the child can become a burden for the parent, and they may worry that the child does not know how to make choices in everyday life.
When a child realizes that they cannot make decisions based on their preferences and must follow others' commands, they may become defiant. If verbal refusals do not work, the child may resort to aggression to refuse tasks. If they feel that their aggressiveness helps them avoid tasks, they will use it as a means to get their work done.
Conversely, they may miss their parent when they do not know how to make a decision, and the parent is not around. When parents make decisions on behalf of their children, they can lose the ability to answer questions based on situations. They may answer based on what others told them instead of associating it with their life and answering accordingly.
Children with special needs often make logical decisions based on their reasoning. They do not rely on experiences, intuition, or gut feelings. Instead, they make decisions based on what they observe and expect. However, when parents take the responsibility of selecting their choices, the children lose the ability to think logically.
Instead of making decisions for their children, parents can guide them to make decisions for themselves. This approach can reduce the burden on the parent and help the child attain independence as early as possible and sustain it to the maximum.